I can’t stop comp-exp/laining

I am so sick of my self.

So sick and sad, I can endure my body and soul to stay healthy and fit. I want to be available and productive when I should be needed. This sickness hit me so hard in the mid of year 2024. The stomach cramp, nausea, lethargy, headache, and uncontrolled diarrhea brought such a nightmare. I lost my confident to face the day and night. I thought everyday will be my last day. Unbelievable truth my dark mind always reminds me of rest in pain. Fuck pain!

 

I got 2 days leave for medical issue, since 21 to 22nd April 2024. But then, I have my weekly off at 23rd. So, it would be 3 days in a row I would be absent in my workplace. It should be normal for people who doesn’t fit enough to have rest as they needed. Instead of freaking doing 9 to 5 job without considering their basic health need. I felt so offended with the statement of my friend which made story in instagram. She said that “Work hard and pray hard are mandatory, the result like success or failed will come along. At least we do the effort to mean not lazy person.”

 

Actually, I didn’t get irritated easily with other people’s opinion. For some moments, I just not feel right found something relate to my low situation. Such as unproductive days that made me to stay at home. I know, the recovery process of my sickness will take longer than usual, since I got really bad condition. It worse than previous moment I have ever experienced.

 

I just pray for all of you, hopefully you can stay healthy body and soul. Be grateful of your happiness and blessed life. Amin